I haven't been this sober since birth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
