Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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