I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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