Where did you get a picture of my penis
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
