Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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