She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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