Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
