We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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