I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
