You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
