A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
