we're blogging at a bar
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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