Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
