omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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