"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
