Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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