So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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