my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
