hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
