I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
