spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Randomize