Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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