Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
