I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize