oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
