im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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