We named our party play list daddy issues
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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