you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
