There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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