Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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