Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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