C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
