he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
