idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
