the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
