i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
