She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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