i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
