alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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