You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
