She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
