Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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