I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
