I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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