Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
