I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
A bitchslap is in order.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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