I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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