I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
