i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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