That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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