i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I am one with the molecules
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
