My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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