so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am spending my child support on dildos
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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