no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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