It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I hate all girls vehemently.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Let's get the cat blown out
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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