What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
