today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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