question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
