i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
