I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
