Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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