Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize