The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
