He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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