So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
