u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
