apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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